Political Spam

An election is coming up – can’t you tell? The politicos conveniently excluded themselves from the National Do Not Call List. As a consequence anyone in a district not completely locked by one party or the other will get calls at inconvenient hours. Calls purporting to be “surveys” but which actually are meant to scare you into voting the way they want. They are looking for fresh meat – people they think might be persuadable into voting their way.

What can an honest, independent voter do? Lie! Don’t just hang up on them, tell them the most outrageous things you can think of.

Q: How do you feel about abortion?
A: Anyone getting an abortion should be executed along with all their other children, spouse and parents.

Q: Do you think your taxes are fair?
A: Of course not. I want to pay more, along with everyone else.

Q: How do you feel about gay marriage?
A: Everyone should have a gay marriage. Who wants a dull marriage? Oh, sorry – I didn’t mean to insult the Baptists.

Come on everyone – you can think up a lot more outrageous answers, just don’t tell them anything that you really feel. Waste their time, screw up their statistics, be a pain in the ass to them. It doesn’t matter how you actually feel about their questions. What matters is to not give them what they want – unless they are willing to pay for it…

6 comments on “Political Spam

  1. Unfortunately, I don’t have the patience and “creative, fast thinking” mind to put up with surveys of a political nature…I’d rather slam down the phone!

  2. When I used to get those “survey” calls, my first question to the caller was always “How long will this take?”

    Second question: “How much are paying for my opinion?”

    That ended the call on an easy out for both of us.

    For some reason I don’t get any soliciting phone calls any more. Maybe it’s my VOIP number.

  3. Reminds me of my old co-worker who would mess with telemarketers, and record it. He produced a CD called “Solictor Madness” that is quite halarious.

    But I’m [like] Jan – it is so hard to think on on my feet. Or ear, as it really is. I guess it would be good to have a notebook with some pre-thought out responses on hand to give ideas.

    Of course, I don’t get calls like that anymore. And even if I did, I am sure it wouldn’t go very well since my telephone German is horrible…

  4. Welcome to the blog LocalHero.

    The problem with hanging up is that then you don’t get to skew the results. But it is a lot easier.