An election is coming up – can’t you tell? The politicos conveniently excluded themselves from the National Do Not Call List. As a consequence anyone in a district not completely locked by one party or the other will get calls at inconvenient hours. Calls purporting to be “surveys” but which actually are meant to scare you into voting the way they want. They are looking for fresh meat – people they think might be persuadable into voting their way.
What can an honest, independent voter do? Lie! Don’t just hang up on them, tell them the most outrageous things you can think of.
Q: How do you feel about abortion?
A: Anyone getting an abortion should be executed along with all their other children, spouse and parents.
Q: Do you think your taxes are fair?
A: Of course not. I want to pay more, along with everyone else.
Q: How do you feel about gay marriage?
A: Everyone should have a gay marriage. Who wants a dull marriage? Oh, sorry – I didn’t mean to insult the Baptists.
Come on everyone – you can think up a lot more outrageous answers, just don’t tell them anything that you really feel. Waste their time, screw up their statistics, be a pain in the ass to them. It doesn’t matter how you actually feel about their questions. What matters is to not give them what they want – unless they are willing to pay for it…